TED'S QUESTION: "I've got a question for you. If your mum's presence on facebook provokes the response "ugh", why is this? What function does the technology play for you as far as managing your family relationships go? We often see cmns technologies as ways of keeping in touch - but your comment indicates that they're also about getting out of touch....I'd like to hear about your experience of facebook in that regard...."
As I mentioned in the title, this blog post is a response to the question Ted brought up in his comment on my first post. He noticed that my newest facebook friend...my MOM...provoked the response "ugh" (sorry mom).
The thing is, I really do love my mom. I guess the real reason her being my friend on facebook makes me shudder a little is because she is one of those mom's that just wants to know everything about everyone, ESPECIALLY me. I guess that's fair, but, you know, being a 21 year old, and doing what we 21 year olds do best, while still living at home I try to keep an element of privacy in my life. Buttttt, she still likes to poke her head into the little things...like "who was that on the phone??" or, "whose pictures are those you're looking through??"...and quite frankly it's often a little hard to even begin to explain how you came to be friends with that certain person on facebook, and really you've only met them once, you just like to look at their pics because they always wear the cutest outfits, or do such nice makeup, or hang out with your x, or whatever. And then she just kind of rolls her eyes like she can't even begin to understand WHY I would be looking at so and so's pics, even though my reason is perfectly legit in facebook world!
Anyways, now that she is my actual facebook FRIEND (because come on, you CAN'T reject your beloved mother's request, she CREATED you after all), she can look at all 608 of my friends and that reallly gets the ball rolling on the old whodoyouknow-whatdoyouknow-howdoyouknow nattering. Not only that, she can read my wall posts (yes mom, me and all my friends have awful potty mouths, I'm sorry), my relationship status (I just erased it all together now..just one of those privacy things you need to consider. Otherwise people start saying, GOD THAT RENEE GIRL GOES THROUGH GUYS QUICK!! - haha, just kidding), my dirty/sexy bumper stickers, and my pictures!! However, facebook being the massive network that it is, I do try to keep the pics limited and PG rated only. Oh and one more thing, she can now tell me to walk the dog or do the dishes via my facebook wall..
So, although facebook is a social networking tool designed to stay in touch with those who are near and far, when you actually LIVE with your mom, is it really necessary to be able to get in touch beyond vocal limits? In a way, this new media allows for a whole different, often private world/secret society, one that we don't always expect parents to join. Like Ted said, it is..well, WAS, a way to get OUT of touch with mom and dad, but in touch with people you barely know! (In a different but similar way, an Ipod lets you get OUT of touch when your sitting on a stinky bus, or a blackberry lets you get OUT of touch when your in the classroom, at a lame party, or wherever you may be, and in touch with something more stimulating online.)
However, the fact that my mom now has facebook also goes to show how new media is not only affecting us info babies, but touching and often improving the lives of the young and old alike. I think my mom really appreciates being able to figure out what this whole facebook phenomenon is. Its no longer this mystery that every one is talking about but she has absolutely no idea what it is, never mind how to work it. Now she's figured out it's really quite simple and been able to add her own friends from high school! That's the great thing about these new technologies - they just keep getting simpler...we've come a longgg way since Babbage's Difference Engine!
Anyways, after this whole rant and rave, I feel I need to point out again that I really do adore my mom, and I should give her a LITTLE more credit, considering she raised me, cares for me when I'm sick, houses me, and even sometimes (ok, most of the time) makes me food and does my laundry (+ she just gave me a whole blog topic!). I don't REALLY mind that she's my facebook friend, I think its kinda-sorta cute and my friends can appreciate that I love my mom, and if they don't, who wants them for friends anyways?!
<3,
R
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2 comments:
Hey Renee,
I can relate to you on this one. My dad and brother have facebook, so of course they are on my friends list. I was always pretty cautious of the pictures I posted of myself on Facebook and the way I represent myself, but now I have to constantly edit the way other people are representing themselves on my wall!
Anyways, don't you find it interesting how your parents are the people that have known you the longest and truely know your character, but we don't want them to see our facebook pages? This forces me to wonder, are our facebook pages a true representation of who we are, or do we have a "social-networking self" that is completely different than our true self?
Hey Amy,
It's funny that you make this comment, this is the same question I asked Alex about her latest post! I definitly think that a "social-networking slef" exists. I limit what pics get uploaded or tagged of me and try to make sure my wall posts stay only quasi-personal - the personal stuff I save for the msgs. I'm not going to lie, I keep my facebook free of the ultra ugly/embarrassing pics and ones that let people know a littttle too much about me. I don't need people knowing every move I make (or see every outfit I wear...I want to wear those dresses more than once!) I also try to represent myself as acurately as possible though, but I think in many instances people create a whole ultra-ego spuerman vs Clark Kent style. I often consider logging on and deleating alllll my photos - the only thing stopping me is the preciouse comments friends have made that you can't have in a privte photo album. Also, I have many friends who use facebook for work (like DJs, club promoters) and they have to represent their work selves on something like facebook. Also, many of my friends have alias' instead of their real names. So, yes, a soial-networking self definitly exists!
R
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